Holy Cow! Car Found Abandoned with Cow Inside.

It’s not very often that I find many interesting stories in the Malay papers–unless, of course, you count the “holier-than-thou” LOL attitude of some of their columnists–but this picture and story splashed on the front page of Berita Harian was simply unmissable. According to the story, residents of Kampung Pondok Labu, near Kulim, foiled an attempted cow-theft (?!) when they stopped several men driving a Proton Wira with a friggin’ cow inside.

A COW.

You’d think there’d be better ways of storing a cow, huh? But what’s more amazing to this story is that residents claim that this “solves the mystery of several missing livestock, believed to be done by the same thieves, about a month ago.” The conspiracy theorist in me says that it’s the work of Proton’s new viral marketing machine to drive up flagging sales. The tagline: “Proton: Full of Bull,” “Proton: We’ll Go On Till The Cows Come Home,” “Proton: We fit the Bull.” etc. etc.

Here’s an excerpt of the story in BM:

KULIM: Sekumpulan penduduk Kampung Pondok Labu, dekat sini, yang mengadakan rondaan mencegah jenayah, berjaya menggagalkan cubaan beberapa lelaki untuk mencuri seekor lembu di kampung berkenaan, tengah malam kelmarin.

Kejayaan penduduk itu juga dijangka menyelesaikan misteri kehilangan beberapa ekor ternakan terbabit di kampung berkenaan sejak lebih sebulan lalu, yang dipercayai dilakukan kumpulan pencuri sama.

Bagaimanapun, apa yang mengejutkan ialah bagaimana pencuri itu dapat melarikan lembu hanya menggunakan sebuah Proton Wira, kerana tentu sukar untuk mereka memasukkan ternakan berkenaan ke dalam kereta terbabit.

Seorang penduduk berkata, dalam kejadian kira-kira jam 11.30 malam kelmarin, beberapa lelaki yang membuat rondaan cegah jenayah di kampung itu berjaya mengesan kegiatan pencuri terbabit di sebuah kebun kelapa sawit.